What if you’re suffering was to save me?

What if you’re suffering was to save me?

I have the advantage of having in my life a woman that I think highly of, I see her only once a year for some government business. Never the less this woman is one of the most amazing souls that I have meant in all my life. Her words are powerful, they give encouragement, enlightenment, peace, insight and power to my soul. At one of the meetings with her, she spoke of her dying sister. She said that her sister spoke of her pain, and like many in life faced with such circumstances she asked “why me?” So this woman said to her sister, “what if your suffering was to save my soul?” This woman than spoke about how she watched an older handicapped neighbor sit outside every day, she spoke to him and said to him you don’t know how many people look outside and see you every day, and which of them is getting something out of your life.

From this I often wondered why, why do I have to do daily battle with this depression, OCD, Anxiety? I mean people can’t see any signs outwardly that there is anything wrong with me. I mean it causes no outside deformities or signs that can be seen by the another’s naked eye, this causes more confusion than one would ever think. See people only seem to feel an understanding for the things that they can physically see another person going through. People usually aren’t concerned with a suffering that they can’t see for themselves, they are usually good at assigning sympathy for some ailment that can only be scene.

Well peel back my skin, crack into my skull, extract my brain can you see it now? Probably not but that’s more on the lines of the dramatic effect that people can understand that you’re dealing with a battle. I am at war and if anything I go through can save someone else from losing a battle within themselves or the course of their lives than I would have found hope, I would have found triumph and victory in my war. I would know that all the tears I’ve cried, all the struggles I’ve had, all the times my mind wanted one thing and my heart wanted another, all the people I’ve pushed away, all the people that have pushed me away because I wasn’t this perfectly happy thankful being, won’t all the just be for naut??? It would serve to save a life, a heartache, a tragedy, a loss and someone some where would gain victory through my war.