I know that I have my issues...and they have been identified, diagnosed and are in the process of being treated! Judge me if you want I am ahead of more than 80% of the population. Because many people don't even admit that they have issues in the first place. I am not often as proud as I am right now of myself so this is actually something that is a step in the right direction. However there are a lot of work that has to be done on bettering myself.
Today I have decided that the way I chose people to add into my life has seriously got to change. I've always got a feeling about something, the way someone says, or does something or the goals, or lifestyle they live. I mean common sense things always pop out at you when meeting a person. However there's a gut feeling that goes along with this meeting of someone new.....I've actually had gut feelings that told me to NOT take people seriously yet later sometimes----------years down the line I am left broken and battered as if I have been the victim of some horrible rape! And lawd I KNOW people jumped all over poor Bella's ass when she compared being stalked by reporters to being raped. However someone playing with you feelings, your heart, your mind and especially when you have a child envolved, any person entering your life taking your friendship or any form of relationship lightly is a violation like no other. I don't want to be attacked, I don't want to ever be brutalized again. Now NOT to say that the person getting attacked provoked it in any way, but there is a way to at least weed out unwanted situations just by the way they may not feel right to enter into in the first place. I've felt this feeling....again I say and I ignored it just about every time. . . .now my heart, mind, body and soul are paying for this breach with severe pain.
Well there is a formula for finding friends and illiminating ones that are distructive to your life, however it's back to basics, back to some of the things your momma teaches about making friends....your momma mine was a bit hhmmmm shall we say busy for pretty much of my childhood probably why I suck ass at this friends thing....probably why my friends are just as abusive or absent in my life as she was-------> that's another blog for another time....any way back to the beginning....
1) common interests and common sense is that you choose friends by your interests, (ie I collect comic books, toys, and love to watch great movies) However since I am 35 and a lesbian that only leaves me with white males from the age of 10 to 60 which isn't my target area. But there are things that I don't like or do in my life, (ie. drugs, smoking, fucking around, clubbing, drinking) However I don't want to rule out everyone that is in this category because I would like to get laid again in life and this leaves out all the good sluts....but it is a base line for weeding out people that are undesirable to my life. Find someone that doesn't think that my interest are out right stupid or someone that has multiple hobbies that I am not into.
2) can't have the cooties, of stray away from the dirty unkempt children because you'll catch cooties. However this goes for those with unaddressed medical and mental issues. If someone openly appears or talks about things that are clearly a class five mental disorder in the DSMIV book than they need medication, therapy and some years in handling their situations before they can make anyone a good friend (joke about the class five thingy though) Dealing with people with past history of traumatic events as well as unresolved family or relationship issues truly shows that they are going to end up in a negative space sooner or later with you as well. Plus my past history with people with unresolved issues has actually turned out being very very bad and I always end up left alone cleaning up the mess after they've left.
3) Friends aren't mean to you NEVER be friends with anyone that is mean to you, or hurts your feelings over an over again. There are times as an adult that people will hurt you, people go through things all the time, but a friend should not make you cry, hurt your feelings, or just outright use you as a whipping boy.
.......OkAY I am blocked right now to be continued......
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