Shug Avery done kissed Miss Celle. . . . . . .

When I was younger I remember some of the very FEW some what normal things I've ever done with my father. My sister well my one and only full blooded sister of that even makes since to some of you straight laced people. Any way my sister and I were watching The Color Purple with our father, and I remember Shug Avery softly touching Miss Celle's face and planting the most tender kiss upon her lips. Not only once even, I remember my father saying "yaw may not understand this!" His only explanation of that scene, I can remember that my heart tickled when I saw that kiss, and for a moment brief as it may have been I wished Shug Avery was kissing me like that, I was to young to understand but I know I wanted her to touch me her hands looked so smooth, soft, caramel colored and probably oh so warm I smelled brown sugar for a moment.

Maybe even now I want a woman like Shug Avery to come into my life, show me that someone could love me unconditionally without any strings attached no holds bared just stomp down not ashamed to just love me HARD, long and silly just pure like the heart of a child. I wanna be loved like that, I want someone to just think of me an smile the way I smile when I think of Jesus, when I look around at all the things I own all the luxury I live in without the fear of breaking my back on a daily basis to maintain it, just blessed by birth, loved for just living in faith of knowing the Lord. I want to be loved like the bible reads in 1 Corinthians

(1 Corinthians 13:4-6:

Love is patient, love is kind . It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.)

But who knows this love?? Who knows how to give it or receive this love? I wonder if the author of these words even loved like this before, I wonder if anyone will ever love me this way!! You hear people all the time spitting out that popular line about loving ones self, this is just utter bullshit many people love themselves but that has nothing to do with the desire to be loved by someone else. We all need (want) someone to love us the way that we love ourselves or others. For now I don't (won't) seek out this type of love for I have lost hope of ever finding it in my life time, I will just continue to increase on the output of love that I show others in hope that this will satisfy my soul as it has in the years past............