Oh pretty baby......

"Your just too good to be true Can't take my eyes off of you"

Since I can remember I've wanted to build a huge loving family, people I'd be able to share my every mind tingling moment with. As I a child I could remember stories of the others, like this brother or that sister that I had only heard about in stories. I used to have fantasy play dates with these faceless siblings, known to me only in a few faded stories that my father told me about. Just first names was all I knew of them, spellings weren't even taught to me, last names unknown by the man that had fathered them. Oh how I wanted so badly to know what it would be like to have more than just one sister in my days and nights. A sister that was as opposite to me as day is to night, or wrong is to right. I imagined what their mothers were like if they'd been beaten as often or as bad as me. I wondered if their faces looked like mine, or their cries went as unanswered as mine had gone. I imagined that one day they'd come for me and save me from the abusive life I had lived which was the only one I had ever known. I used to wonder if I had an older sister would she save me from the flying fists of the sister that hated me so much. Or the mother that drunk, drunk, drunk and fucked, fucked, fucked anyone that gave her the time of day or any bottle that came past her way. I dreamed of this family that would not hurt me for anything in the world, a family that made me the center of their universe, the family that prayed over their meals, sang corny songs together over holiday tracks. I knew that the family I was born into was incapable of love, I wanted to start off fresh, I wanted to create a family like some people create their crafts. I wanted to paint in children, post on some pets, mold a huge loving home, I wanted to whittle a tree house full of playful youths.

"You'd be like heaven to touch

I want to hold you so much"

Life throws so many curve balls our way, that things seem to always have to be adjusted to deal with these new twists or turns. God blessed me with the strength to love, the desire to be loved despite the fact that I had no desire for males I was still blessed with a beautiful daughter. A child that admirers my every being, wants to spend her every moment sitting up under me. Now as nine years have gone by the desires of my heart have yet to be fulfilled, the rooms aren't filled with children's little laughter, sounds of tiny little steps, happy hands all over the place. I asked "her" and she said she'd oblige me, so God brought fourth a child for me placed it inside of her womb.

"At long last love has arrived And I thank God I'm alive You're just too good to be true Can't take my eyes off of you."

Despite the fact that this new life form is coming into my world via the fruit of "her" womb and not mine means to me that your not less of my family but more of a blessing to me. I've wanted to hold you from the moment I learned of your existence, I prepared a place for you to live with me in forever be a part of the love that I have created. I so wish that the world could be a better place for you to see, I so wish that the sun would shine on a more peaceful planet aligned with stars that shine as brightly as your eyes. I so have wished for you to be the most precious of gifts to humanity, I have so be dedicated to loving you more than anyone could ever believe.

"Pardon the way that I stare

There's nothing else to compare

The site of you leaves me weak

There are no words left to speak

But if you feel like I feel

Please let me know that it's real

Your just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you."

Despite the decisions I've made to bring fourth the creation of your life, the envy, arguing and even the strife. You I so dearly love, with all of the strength that I have with all the blessings from above. I pray for your strength, intelligence, and health to be in my life through out all of the days I have yet to live in this life, your my beautiful baby no matter what my status or wealth.

"I need you baby and if it's quite alright

I need you baby to warm the lonely nights

I love you baby trust in me when I say, oh yay

Oh pretty baby don't let me down I pray

Oh pretty baby now that i found you stay

And let me love you love you oh baby."

"Your just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

You'd be like heaven to touch

I want to hold you so much

At long last love has arrived

And I thank God I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you."