When it's time to roll out and fold up, you have to just know when the right time is....and now RIGHT now in my life the time has come. I need to get back to me to my roots, to cater to my soul. For so long, woman have been the root of my desire and the root of much of my trouble or pain. We all need at times to refocus ourselves, anytime things start to be UN-happy for you....than time has come to fold it up!!
I have been in probably to many relationships, my mom once told me something like that. I have NEVER had a problem meeting people, having people like me or want me in any way shape or form. Whether it be when I was dreadfully dealing with males and thinking something was wrong with me because I was not thrilled or happy or even feeling like myself when I was dealing with a male. However I had no shortages of them, nor was I ever alone when I didn't want to be alone, never have I been sitting some where figuring out who to call when I was in need of company. The same has always been true for dealing with females. At times I have wanted to be without their attention. Nor can I remember ever crushing on anyone especially outside of elementary or high school. SO I am sure that anyone that reads my thoughts on a regular can understand that I am treading in an area in which I have no idea what I am doing. It has been a crazy few days but I am back on track again.
I am going to go back to the love of my life and stay there. I am sick of feeling the feelings I do, I need to work on having concerns for people or things that have no need taking up my time. Feelings that I wish I could just rip outta my brain have been like in the forefront of my mind an I'm truly tiring from this shit.
No one cares for the person inside of me BUT me...I often imagine what people would think, feel or say about me while I'm on my back in that coffin. And I've always thought that I would be missed or remembered for my loving, caring heart soul .......BULLSHIT!!! People rarely remember the nice ones....in life we're known to finish last so wondering how the hell the nice guy can actually come out on top....doesn't seem possible. Time to go back to my cave to regroup to recover to remind me of the true love in my life...GOD! I need to take so much time to give thanks than place my tears in the hand of the master. At least I know that my pain in going into the hands of the one that really cares about the nice guy for a change.
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