Facebook; When someone you thought cared about you but.......

......Funny it's my fault for looking, however it's my Macbook and for the years I have been with "her" nothing I have texted, emailed, posted, said, thought or done has been my own information. However at a time when I am going through so much, physical, mental, emotional, family, illnesses, issues, depression, I find out that everything I have thought was private or things that didn't even happen SHE made up about me and posted for all her friends to see and read and comment. Crazy because I've been asking for a few months now why we couldn't be friends on Facebook, not knowing that all the time SHE has me blocked on her facebook which is why I could never find her page. I mean things that I've thought about, things that I've talked to her about, things I've said to her or my daughter she either posted them, distorted them or just outright lied about them. I mean I have done or said things in anger but never would I have a secret girlfriend and lay up with "her", never would I even lie about liking someone, I thought that honesty was what WE were going with! I mean I'm not crying about it just don't feel like doing that however at this time in my life I thought that I had made an honest friend that maybe I didn't make the mistake in choosing a person to be in a relationship with.......however I was wrong DEAD wrong....my hands are shaky, my mind is racing, my spirits are down......I never thought that this would ever be me, happen to me....I mean almost four years of being with someone I thought maybe...just maybe I might have lucked up and found a pretty decent person. NOT!!! I mean since the years I thought maybe growth was coming, I thought maybe honesty was already in place......I thought maybe not crazy like I once thought! But yes crazy, yes a liar, yes immature.....and I am here left picking up the pieces and trying to get my life back on track....my feelings back in order...........my hopes up that maybe someone some where is sane, mature, honest, loving, and not looking to move from one situation to another, not using Facebook as a dating site, or as a soapbox to stand on to make up all these lies about everything. I mean who does that? All along I was willing to share my Facebook information, because I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING CRAZY!!! I mean every time I turn around there's that same crazy, useless mother fucker standing before me and I am just as dumb to open up my life and let in another loser. I know I have a crazy dysfunctional family but if someone choses not to deal with their family thats one thing BUT if someone's family REFUSES to deal with them than that shows you that they have a shit load of issues and you need to fun as fast as you can from that LOOSER!!!! Another sign they have no friends, or are constantly losing friends and moving onto new ones thats a sign that maybe you too need to run before you get eaten up by this person.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

I have but one pet peeve and that is a liar or lies I can't stand someone that makes up lies. There is no godly reason to make up a lie and I am not saying pretending someone's cooking isn't horrible so you don't hurt their feelings. Or even the "oh no baby your not too fat", I mean there are little things we have to say that are just out right protecting someone's feelings and not being rude to them, and sometimes being too honest hurts feelings. However when it's neccesary you have to hurt someone sometimes, like to keep them from believing something that you know is not going to happen. For example you don't want to go leave out of a job interview thinking you've got a job when you don't, or have a man think that you're in a relationship when you the female are clearly a lesbian. I mean yes throughout history men and woman have married knowing full well that they were gay or lesbian, but come on you end up hurting many people in the process of doing that.

Any way I have always found that people tend to lie to me more often than they lie to anyone else PERIOD!! I mean is it because I can't stand it so much that people tend to always pick me to lie to? I mean even my daughter who's seen first hand what damage lying has done to me when one of her so called friends lied to her mother about me screaming at her. I mean damn not only did this little child lie on me but she bullied and threatened my daughter at school, went around told all the local children to not play with my daughter, played on our door, as well as would always stand in front of my car whenever I was entering or exiting the parking lot and not move even when other children would scream at her move there's a car behind you!!! I mean hell this was my worst nightmare being lied on and being stalked by a child who's mother swore she was a saint. Any way I have opened my wallet, my home, my heart and my life and invited people in to know me, my daughter and family only to inreturn be created with lies and fantasy stories that really ended our friendships or relationships. I once fell totally in love with someone that lied about everything except name, job and address. I mean everything else even down to the personality of this individual was a lie, made up or fake. Than in turn upon me moving to another state to live with this asshole, I found out all the nasty truths in which I was kept from, well needless to say a hundred miles from my family, with my daughter living there as well I lost my temper, my mind, my body and soul upon this discovery. But I did not let that be my great lesson, it took me years of therapy to get back on track, yet I still trusted in the goodness of the human soul. I still believed that people were genuinely honest with one another like myself ---->>> REAL!! Come on it doesn't get any better than that!! Any way here it came again in the form of a little white innocent looking Army boy, he turned out to be the same ole thing, I trusted him by being a friend, offering a place to stay for a brief time. Yet he turned out to be a liar as well. I mean it doesn't matter the age, race, sex, religion, greed or education, these liars seem to come in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors. But every single time I tell myself people deserve to be treated kindly and trusted for who they are.

However this last one is going to be just that, the LAST ONE! I mean I've given money to little old homeless ladies, sent a pregnant poor girl a bus ticket to get from Jersey to Georgia, given so much of myself to always be left feeling the sting of the liars....I mean this last woman promised me a child an entire life from her womb that she claimed she had with the sperm donor we picked out. She was supposed to be a life long friend, someone I cared about, I worried about I had so much love for, and just one day before her so called relocation across country she just fell off, stopped contact, claimed she was under stress and a doctor told her to be careful or some kind of BS. I mean it's like my face in posted on a website for all these liars to just seek me out. I am really like what the hell did I do to piss off someone up on high. I mean damn, I've lived a life where I've cried so much I thought dust would come out of my eyes. I am just so sick and tired of crying, sick and tired of being hurt just because I was nice to someone. I mean I've never expected anything in return, but I did think that these people were my friends, so I guess I did expect continued friendship, but never ever got it!

I mean even when I thought I had found the love on my life, I was smacked but into reality with so much hurt and pain that I thought I'd positively die. I mean I said I love you, I got the words I love you in return, who would've thought that one of us was lying about that?? Who would have thought that when we planned our future together that one of us was thinking about someone else when they pictured "THEIR" future wedding. I mean as simple and easy as it is to not lie to someone, why do so many people do it? If you ever meet someone that you feel that you have to lie to than just leave them alone, and save them all the hurt, pain and embarrassment of being lied to by you!! Please and thank you