Oh pretty baby......

"Your just too good to be true Can't take my eyes off of you"

Since I can remember I've wanted to build a huge loving family, people I'd be able to share my every mind tingling moment with. As I a child I could remember stories of the others, like this brother or that sister that I had only heard about in stories. I used to have fantasy play dates with these faceless siblings, known to me only in a few faded stories that my father told me about. Just first names was all I knew of them, spellings weren't even taught to me, last names unknown by the man that had fathered them. Oh how I wanted so badly to know what it would be like to have more than just one sister in my days and nights. A sister that was as opposite to me as day is to night, or wrong is to right. I imagined what their mothers were like if they'd been beaten as often or as bad as me. I wondered if their faces looked like mine, or their cries went as unanswered as mine had gone. I imagined that one day they'd come for me and save me from the abusive life I had lived which was the only one I had ever known. I used to wonder if I had an older sister would she save me from the flying fists of the sister that hated me so much. Or the mother that drunk, drunk, drunk and fucked, fucked, fucked anyone that gave her the time of day or any bottle that came past her way. I dreamed of this family that would not hurt me for anything in the world, a family that made me the center of their universe, the family that prayed over their meals, sang corny songs together over holiday tracks. I knew that the family I was born into was incapable of love, I wanted to start off fresh, I wanted to create a family like some people create their crafts. I wanted to paint in children, post on some pets, mold a huge loving home, I wanted to whittle a tree house full of playful youths.

"You'd be like heaven to touch

I want to hold you so much"

Life throws so many curve balls our way, that things seem to always have to be adjusted to deal with these new twists or turns. God blessed me with the strength to love, the desire to be loved despite the fact that I had no desire for males I was still blessed with a beautiful daughter. A child that admirers my every being, wants to spend her every moment sitting up under me. Now as nine years have gone by the desires of my heart have yet to be fulfilled, the rooms aren't filled with children's little laughter, sounds of tiny little steps, happy hands all over the place. I asked "her" and she said she'd oblige me, so God brought fourth a child for me placed it inside of her womb.

"At long last love has arrived And I thank God I'm alive You're just too good to be true Can't take my eyes off of you."

Despite the fact that this new life form is coming into my world via the fruit of "her" womb and not mine means to me that your not less of my family but more of a blessing to me. I've wanted to hold you from the moment I learned of your existence, I prepared a place for you to live with me in forever be a part of the love that I have created. I so wish that the world could be a better place for you to see, I so wish that the sun would shine on a more peaceful planet aligned with stars that shine as brightly as your eyes. I so have wished for you to be the most precious of gifts to humanity, I have so be dedicated to loving you more than anyone could ever believe.

"Pardon the way that I stare

There's nothing else to compare

The site of you leaves me weak

There are no words left to speak

But if you feel like I feel

Please let me know that it's real

Your just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you."

Despite the decisions I've made to bring fourth the creation of your life, the envy, arguing and even the strife. You I so dearly love, with all of the strength that I have with all the blessings from above. I pray for your strength, intelligence, and health to be in my life through out all of the days I have yet to live in this life, your my beautiful baby no matter what my status or wealth.

"I need you baby and if it's quite alright

I need you baby to warm the lonely nights

I love you baby trust in me when I say, oh yay

Oh pretty baby don't let me down I pray

Oh pretty baby now that i found you stay

And let me love you love you oh baby."

"Your just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

You'd be like heaven to touch

I want to hold you so much

At long last love has arrived

And I thank God I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you."

Welcome to 2010 my name is FUTURE......

Believe it or not I could barely think ahead when I was a child, even now I barely have the ability to plan years ahead.....blame it on the OCD, the severe depression, or just the fact that life's hard enough living from day to day. A few days ago I awoke to some changes in my life, some grand wonderful changes. I became desperate, I became focused, I became ready to plan for my life ahead. I'm a female 100% despite my wardrobe, my desires or my lifestyle, never felt what it would be like to be a male despite it all UNTIL she said, "I'm pregnant!" I mean sure I wanted this, planned it, talked about it hours on end, love children, want more, desire to build upon my small tribe, however REALity is different than planning........what turns comes out from our plans is what we eventually have to deal with. So here I sit with this news weighing on me like a shit load of bricks, she's pregnant!?! Emotions waled against me from inside as well as out....questions answered and those yet to be asked filled my head. That day I meant someone named FUTURE. Future had no describable height, even though I can say I was looking up at it, the size and shape are also difficult to describe. However it spoke to me clearly; Future said to me "You must come to me whether your ready or not, you do understand this don't you?" I answered "Yes, I know this." Future spoke back rather harshly in tone this time, "Why have you been so reluctant to accept that fact in the past?" The sound of thunder seemed to come out of no where, clear skies, were above my head as a peeked beyond the shoulder of Future. Again Future spoke, "You've been busy looking at my sister to even cast your sites on me." Your...sis-sister?? I found this confusing not knowing who the sister of Future was or even the thought that I had been looking at her. Future pointed behind my back, saying she's always back their her name is Past some give her nick names, but always speak of her often instead of me. You see she's much more popular than I am because many people like to live in her instead of me. Future's tone had softened a bit and I was able to connect with Future, thinking of my sister's but things into perspective. Future said "You're on the right track but I am not jealous of my sister I just wish people would accept me into their lives to make things easier on themselves."

So Future asked me why I had finally started to pay em' any attention, I than spoke of my soon to be arriving baby, and all the preparations I had made for this child, which were all finally right here. Future snapped at me "SEE you've planned half assed and now you're behind the eight ball, a life is coming your way what are you plans beyond this baby?" I looked at Future, jumped to my feet, started to plan that moment that day and have yet to stop......I have admired Past for oh so long but the time has come to an end, for just a few days ago I made a new friend Future's the name...and our fun has just begin!!!

To Be CONT'D..............

When will Black people RISE UP & restore their GLORY??

When are Black Americans going to regain their class and status as the once strong, Verile and feared for their organization, strong family structure, clear minds, superior thoughts and beyond human strength and abilities. I mean seriously when have any of you did some research on people of color? We come from royalty, from good stock, we were of Kings and Queens ruling over kingdoms. We are the same people of Africa, the middle east, we were once rich in culture, family, wealth and status. We were once so feared that White Americans didn't want us to get together in large numbers, because we were so strong, we were so smart, we were physically strong as well as mentally. We had everything taken from us YET still we got stronger, we laughed, we danced, we produced strong off spring, we had tolerance for the worst of conditions. What have we now? I am not trying to write this out of racism which many people might think, which right now I don't care I am just saddened by my people every day and I think damn I had to have a child and bring her into this ignorant world. I mean what the HELL happened to US? Come on we went from such strong people, people that walked miles to boycott a racist ass system. We refused to ride public transportation for over a year walking every where we needed to go. WE built this country on our blood, sweat and tears!! Can I get an AMEN!?? We as a people died and bled on this great countries earth while being enslaved and mistreated, abused, raped of our virginity, raped of our culture and raped of our faith. HERE we stand in 2009 proud to call each other NIGGAS and BITCHES and HIGH YELLOW ain't a thing cause I am used to it!! Sad is what the fuck we are!! Sad and ignorant fucking people we have become YEAH I SAY WE FUCK YOU IF YOU THINK I AM WRONG IN DOING SO, because it is to many of US for me to say some, many come on I am not even separating myself from this because WE are a People we are one and when WE realize this SHIT than we will no longer be so ignorant. I speak my mind and MY people call me "militant" or some fucking so called friends like to call me unhappy!! I no longer give a shit what people think of me, but I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of Black folks and their ignorant asses. I am sick of seeing Black men standing in front of stores with they dirty ass under clothing showing, cursing up a storm, scratching their dirty little dicks, and spitting on the side walk while woman walk past with their babies. I sat right on Wadsworth Avenue and I watched for about 15 minutes, I looked at my baby girls face, she had the most horrible look of disgust on her face as she watched these grown ass Black men, holding their penis, calling out to passing females, spitting, fighting and cursing. She cringed with every word they said and their every moment drew her closer to the far side of the car. I even looked at them and they looked at me and my daughter, never stopping, never yielding, never missing a curse word. I eventually rolled up the windows and turned the air on, along with the radio to tune them out. But it was not just Wadsworth Avenue in Philadelphia, it has been Easton Road in Willow Grove, it has been the Willow Grove Park Mall, it has been from 5Th & Girard, to King of Prussia Mall it has been outside the doctors office in Elkins Park hospital, it has been on the boardwalk in Atlantic City, it has been every where I have seen a Black person. Every where they go they take their ignorance, they take their hateful words, the dick grabbing, their ass hanging out, their spitting, their 'nigger this and nigger that!" I mean even woman who may not use these words except them, except the MEN that use them, use them around their sons, use them around their daughter. WE have become a people to accept all this bullshit, being called BITCHES, being called NIGGERS, being called HIGH YELLOW...which excuse me I have to put this in here because this is why I am typing this blog RIGHT NOW!! A friend on facebook posted pics of her baby girl, one of her friends called the little girl HIGH YELLOW, I wrote to her that her daughter was beautiful BUT high yellow is a negative comment it means uppity Black person and back in the day dark skinned Blacks used this as a way to create fights among their lighter counter parts, it is hateful it is IGNORANT it is something that should not be used especially if someone is speaking of your BABY GIRL!! WHAT? WHAT? Where is the fire? Where is the Fire? Where does this shit end?? Where do ALL BLACK PEOPLE stand up and say SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM NOT GOING TO BE CALLED A NIGGA, I AM NOT GOING TO BE CALLED A BITCH I AM NOT HIGH YELLOW I am ME and I am sick of this ignorant SHIT take back out RACE and damn these fools to hell. Get these men off the corner & from in front of these stores calling each other names, calling woman as if they are dogs AND they are answering they whistle at one woman and she is beautiful I mean she made other woman beside me, turn and look at her, SHE even answered to a whistle, to a hey come here! Are you serious?!? Here is a copy of the conversation on facebook about skin color because I am to pissed to continue I will come back to this TRUST ME;

Tiffany Tuck at 10:05am March 11

She is too adorable. Looks just like her high yella momma! :-)

Danyelle Gibson at 7:28pm March 11

Hi Hater!! You know she is just really light brown....lol

Tiffany Tuck at 11:37am March 13

Keep trying and let the next one bake a little longer, until golden brown. LOL!!! No seriously, she's too cute.

Bernice Taylor at 9:40pm April 18

She is too cute Danyelle!

Danyelle Gibson at 9:40pm April 18

Thank you. We went today and got them taken.

Sauda W Collins-Taylor at 9:44pm April 18

She is really too cute.... but u know that baby ain't brown Danyelle....

Tyra R. DeVeaux at 9:57pm April 18

No, she's far from brown....Sh's definitely high yellow......BUT she's loks like her gramndmother!

Devon Whitmore at 12:12am April 19

You were right, that color looks great on her! I know Kamillita showed out!

Tyanisa Bell-Davis at 3:18pm April 19

Did she say brown? Is that the new yellow?
LUV YA Ms. Kamille!

Danielle Hargrove-Seward at 10:56am April 27

You look great. Your family is beautiful.

Elsa Adams at 11:47am April 27

Wonderful pic girl... Real nice.

Angela Johnson at 11:55am April 27

awwww look @ my extended family

Danyelle Gibson at 12:02pm April 27

Thank you guys

Charles R. Miller III at 2:05pm June 29

Very beautiful babay!!

Danyelle Gibson at 2:08pm June 29

Thank you. Even though she decided to sky dive off of the bed on Friday.....kids are a mess.

Tracie Henry at 2:08pm June 29

Your baby is beautiful!! And uummm not trying to be a smartass but the term "HIGH YELLOW" is very very offensive it means a uppity light skinned Black person. I mean I have heard many people call each other this and I do not know if they knew what it meant or not but that is what it means!! Now a days Black people seem to not care about things like this but I for one wouldn't want to be called that or the "N" word it's just ME, just letting you know!

Danyelle Gibson at 2:10pm June 29

I have been hearing it my whole life so it no longer offends me. I am a lighter shade of brown and so is my baby...no matter what they say.

Danyelle Gibson at 2:10pm June 29

I have been hearing it my whole life so it no longer offends me. I am a lighter shade of brown and so is my baby...no matter what they say.

Tracie Henry at 2:11pm June 29

also it High YELLOW was created like the word "NIGGER" was created it was meant to hurt, dark skinned Black people used it back in the day to hurt light skinned Blacks because we truly are not YELLOW people. They just used it to hurt one another, and many a people fought over being called HIGH YELLOW including my mother...just an end note in case I didn't explain myself.

Tracie Henry at 2:15pm June 29

WOW! is all I have to say....