Figuring this life/love thing out......

Okay I seriously have some issues of depression, ocd......but putting them aside I often find myself pondering the age old question; what is the meaning of love.....life yeah I meant life? Right? I think, I mean love hhmmm wait wait there is my favorite answer to give when people ask what IS LOVE? Answer plan and simple; 4 Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Of course this is from the bible in the book of Corinthians. In Paul's letter to the people of Corinth he outlined this so beautifully, that here thousands of years later people all over the world have these words read aloud at the weddings. I so enjoy these poignant, devoted and affectionate words BUT there's always a but isn't there? But are there really people out there that treat one another this way? Wait......before you ponder this I'm going to move on and come back to this thought later on, okay?

What is the meaning of love....wait life? Life or love? For some odd reason I am stuck on this love, this word, this "emotion", yeah the quotations are " " coming out, because I am seriously wondering how many times the word love it just being uses as a WORD, as opposed to a way to describe an "emotion". *Scratching you head?* Well here we go down this road, at a very young age my daughter said to me "Mommy I love you!" Okay how wonderful and cute she said she loved me of course this is my child I love her, so I tell her in return "I love you too lady bug!" Okay fast forward a few years, same child a few years older says to her day school teacher "Good bye Mrs. Holly I love you!" Okay question to child, what is love baby? Child's reply, I don't know, I really like something or someone I love them. Fast forward to a young seven year old, "mommy I hate you!", okay clearly a child with a temper tantrum not getting her way however let's look into this further. Love is patient, she's clearly not able to understand patients at this time but I on the other had are in my early thirties I understand this is an upset child not getting her way, I use patience when dealing with this situation. I respond to her by telling her she's not being "kind" to me by directing such a mean word towards me. Now often yes, as a the only child of a single parent even at nine years old she becomes jealous if I give to much attention to a baby or maybe even another child. She may not understand that there is no need to be jealous because I love her like I love no other child because she is mine. Now as far as bragging and arrogance these are things clearly over the head of a child yet, children my brag of what activities they've done with a parent, time their parent spends with them, that sort of thing. The direction I am heading in is that as a child we are taught so many things, love may not be one of them however we are taught all the aspects of love, kindness to others, not to be jealous, to be patient with one another (sharing, taking turns, waiting for rewards), Bragging or showing off, not to be arrogant (smart mouthed, rude, know it all), unbecomingly (clean yourself, act with manners), does not seek it's own (team work, there is no I in team), truth not to lie, trust to be honest an open with others so that they can be that way with you. We're taught not to be provoked, (well that's mainly in schools if your hit tell someone and don't hit back), Don't be ignorant or hangout with people who do wrong I could go on and on like I have already. But seriously we're all taught to LOVE, with these simple rules that we're given as a child, these simple baby steps are building blocks for our life long ambition of finding out the meaning of life, or life. However WE and I can easily put myself in this category because we do not practice what we are taught in our lives.

I just read someones blog, they went on and on about meeting someone new, liking someone and so fourth. So it got me to thinking about this topic of love, which when I started to create this blog it was about life. We are all trying to figure out what to do where to go, what's are best move to have maximum joy or happiness out of life. But it's simple we have to learn to love one another, the job that humankind is doing right now really truly sucks. It's sad because people are scrambling to pair up, for either the simple fact of not being alone, or sex, or lust, or financial reasons, who knows, but if we don't know how to love is any of this really going to make us happy? I mean can one live a life without love? I mean seriously devoid of the EMOTION that is love, not that word that people throw around to either get ass, or cause it sounds good or like something I should say to someone. I mean seriously feel the way God intended us to feel about one another, and I know I know I know that GOD wanted us to feel love because go back to 1st Corinthians and read that chapter completely or just refer to the top of this blog, all these aspects of love are teachings we've had starting with early childhood. BAM! There it is! Yet why don't people know how to love? Why don't people show love to one another? I mean it's there it's free it's laid out for us in a million different translations. So why is it that someone like me that is seeping love through her pours can never find someone to appreciate me. or the little things I do to show others that they are loved and/or cared about? I am just so lost.........

I asked someone earlier today, I said "Am I a bad person?" I mean people say you reap what you sow, so where is the love? Come on I know we've all been taught it before, where is the damn love??? I am giving up on looking....giving up on the "emotion" love and maybe just going to use the word like others do.......if you can't beat em'