Moving On

I have decided that I am sick and tired of the way things have been going in my life. I know many people can touch and agree on that point, but how many people do anything to change it....the question may be is HOW THE HELL DO YOU CHANGE THINGS? Well I can hold my head high, proudly say I have no damned idea what so EVER!! However I am going to try things differently from this day forward. For the past month I have been cleaning my home, no literally cleaning out my apartment. I have taken several bags of trash out of this place I have moved things, thrown out things that I have been holding on to for the longest. I love my apartment and I am so thankful to GOD to have a place of my own, however I live in a very hhmmmm how do I put it, a very ghetto place, where things go unfixed by the landlord, where neighbors drink outside, curse, fight and sell drugs. I feel safe because I stay inside my place, my chid goes outside and away from this complex to go out and play. I would like to move else where, but I realize I have to take care of what I have, be thankful and give thanks often in order to show the Lord that I am ready and deserving of a new home, a safer home and hopefully a larger home. So despite feeling lazy, I have to show some love to the place in which I call home for now. I clean, I sweep, I mop I make sure everything stays pretty much in it's place. As for changing the direction of my life I have decided to go out and get some more education so that I can chose a different live of work. Of course I find nothing wrong with working with children because I do happen to love the little buggers even the ones at the alternative schools in which I always find myself working with. However the pay is piss poor and the people that work with children aren't very far from children themselves. I mean I have come across some just down right stupid people working with children, people with horrible values no morales and little respect for the children that they are supposed to be protecting, teaching and responsible for. I am just sick of seeing the lack of professionalism of people that work within places which should be safe and structured for children, especially children with a background of abuse, neglect and problems. So I am seeking higher training, I seeking more training, I am trying to build on what knowledge I already have to become a better person, employee, mother, teacher, and all around good Christian. I have written out a weekly list, a list of things that I know that I need to do to help make my life better, different and change the direction in which I am heading. I have made a list of important things in which I need to do to start myself out on a good day. I have prayer, water, grooming, exercise, topped off with a daily list of things in which I need to do for that particular day. I sat down tonight and made the list for Monday morning, starting out early with getting my child to the bus stop, than heading to the gym to work out for at least one full hour, in this time I will drink plenty of water, make sure I pray and review my daily activities. Once I have completed those tasks I move on to the next things in which I have placed on my life. I will write the time in which I completed these things as well as a check to make sure that i have done them all.